Ask The Bent Archives - Page 2 of 5

I hate how anxious I feel over feedback

How can stop feeling like I’m signing myself up to sit in the dunk tank every month?

I don’t like my coworker (and they don’t like me)

I admire your impulse to try to make this relationship better — although I think you have a long road ahead of you.

Help! I’m dreading my weekly 1-on-1

I am a manager and an extrovert, but honestly have really struggled with being a people manager through the events of 2020.

I want to move and also keep my job

When do I ask (tell?) my boss about this? How honest should I be about my plans? If they say yes to my move, do I owe it to them to stick with the job for any amount of time? What happens if the answer is no?

Reader mailbag

My boss is late. I’m sad I didn’t get laid off. Should I apply? One of my reports is pregnant. How do I not fuck this up?

How do you manage your time?

Combined, we’ve worked for over two decades and managed hundreds of people. We’ve survived holiday seasons, hiring pushes, product launches. We’re not perfect and we’re not superheroes, but we do accomplish a lot of work. (We also know how validating it is to learn that someone shares one of your habits.) This is what works for us.

Is it too much to ask?

I don’t think it’s wrong at all to expect follow-ups from your team when something has slipped through the cracks. What I love most about this question, though, is that there’s not a single clear-cut answer. It’s one thing to ask your boss to respond to an email that’s been languishing in their inbox for three days. It’s another to have to ask again after a week, and again after two.

Write better emails to a confused person

I want to send emails that are so good they will learn from them. Any go-to solutions for clarifying, confirming, or re-iterating information with a very poor email communicator?

And now I’m managing my friends & former peers

I expect there to be some discomfort, but I want to minimize the awkwardness and show support as much as possible!

Yes or no: Friends with your reports?

The best blanket “rule” we’ve been able to come up with is to be friendly with your direct reports, but not friends. If you can do that, you will stay safely appropriate and satisfied with the relationship. (Have we followed that rule throughout our careers? Absolutely not.)

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