Hi Andy and Emma,
I recently quit my job without a new job lined up. My interview-ready explanation is that it wasn’t a good fit — the mix of work evolved away from what I was expecting and didn’t align with my long-term goals. These things are all true, but my manager was also extremely critical of all of my work, and my requests for help and support did not often get met. It became untenable.
Now, I feel like I have a scarlet letter pinned to my resume (…unemployed!) and I can’t shake the doubts about my own abilities that were introduced at this last gig. This sort of thing has never happened to me — before this, I worked at the same place for a long time, got promoted a handful of times, was well-liked, and received a lot of very good feedback from peers and managers. I know I’m not an idiot, but I still feel like one right now.
How can I talk about all of this honestly without raising red flags? How can I get my groove back?
Emma: Of course your confidence is a little bruised. You’ve had a setback. In my experience this kind of setback will barely register as a blip in the overall course of things — career, life, memory — but at the moment it can be paralyzing. I was once in a similar between-jobs limbo for a little over three months, and I was basically subhuman by the end of it.
Andy: What better way to fill eight vacant hours a day than self-doubt and insecurity?
Emma: I think you already know this deep down, but I’ll say it anyway: You do not have a scarlet letter pinned to your resume. Anyone in any interview has either left or will be leaving an old job behind — and most of the time, it’s for the same reasons you quit yours.
Andy: Hiring managers are not afraid of people who quit their jobs. If they were, the only people they’d be able to hire would be 16. It’d be the same as only dating people who’ve never had a breakup before.
Emma: Ha! Only virgins and widows!
I honestly think you’re going to feel 100% better the moment you have a great interview. It’s like when you finally get out of a bad relationship and feel like garbage, but then someone flirts with you at the coffee shop. Look who’s sexy now!
Andy: I bet even just prepping for an interview is going to quiet down that voice in your head that’s making you feel like an idiot.
Emma: The majority of interview prep is compiling that big list of all your results, accomplishments, promotions, and compliments, and then cherry picking the best ones to tell a bunch of people who want to hear about them. It’s sanctioned bragging! This might be the Leo in me, but I cannot imagine a more ideal scenario.
Andy: If you’re not a Leo (I’m certainly not) don’t delay this exercise. In the same way changing out of your pajamas can help you feel less sluggish, prepping for an interview can help you reconnect with your own awesomeness and hireability.
Emma: A big, important part of this whole experience is how it’s informed what you want and need out of your job, such as a boss who isn’t highly critical, unsupportive, and unavailable. This isn’t a ridiculous prerequisite. The fact that your manager at your last gig wasn’t good enough for you isn’t a failure on your part. It’s a failure on their’s — or maybe, like you said, just not a good fit.
Andy: Instead of worrying about how to play defense in this next interview — I need to have my answers ready, my deflectors up, my happy face on, so they can’t get too deep into this blemish on my resume — try playing offense. I think you’ll feel much more in control.
Emma: Absolutely. One of the ways to feel comfortable talking about a negative experience at your last job is to reframe it as something you’ve learned you need — and to figure out if your next boss and team can provide what your last team couldn’t. It rights the power balance of the interview.
Andy: An interview is a try-out for both sides. Does the relationship work for you, too?
Emma: It needs to be a mutual yes.
How to Answer, “Why Did You Leave Your Last Job?”
Quitting a job because you had a bad boss is a lot like having cellulite: You are not the only one with this “problem.” (Seriously. One in two people have left their job to get away from their manager — in our case, two in two people.)
There’s no need to hide it, but your instincts are right to not dwell on it either. Most hiring managers are rightly sensitive to candidates who “go negative” too hard and too fast in an interview. If the someone demonstrates a lot of bitterness and resentment in such a high-stakes environment, just imagine what will happen when they get comfortable on your team.
When you’re answering a question that has the potential to turn into a rant, your best move is to:
- Keep the explanation to one or two sentences
- Anchor it to your own values, priorities, and practices
- Interview back: Ask for info on how it’s different here
Here are some examples, both for explaining a bad boss and more we’ve either heard or used ourselves over the years.
I learned that I crave an invested and supportive manager who is deeply interested in helping me learn and grow. Can you tell me about some of the growth you’ve seen on your team in the last year?
I didn’t have any collaborators — most work was done solo, and I’ve found I burn out creatively without input from my creative director and teammates. How are your creative teams structured?
I exhausted the advancement opportunities. I reached the salary threshold for my role, and the only way to continue growing was to start managing a team, instead of producing the work, which is what I’m more interested in. I’d love to hear about the career pathing and promotion process here.
I wanted more flexibility in my work hours. How is scheduling handled here?
It was a hard choice for me to leave. The company changed tremendously over the last five years and I wanted to get back to that early stage start-up vibe — more impact and a faster pace. What stage is this company in and how do you see it changing over the next few years?
Emma: I know we’re advocating for you to get right back on the horse, but we’ll be the first to acknowledge that the interviewing gauntlet is intense. It’s a lot of work. People don’t write back. There might be some post-interview ghosting. Putting yourself out there is the solution, but it’s not always going to feel like one.
Andy: When I have that OH NO, NO ONE WILL EVER HIRE ME AGAIN despair spiral, I try to create the stability and rewards of work: Can I volunteer somewhere? Can I take a class?
Emma: Yes to both! And at the same time, surround yourself with people who can build you up and remind you how great you are.
Good Boss Achievement Stickers: Back on the Horse Edition
