Emma and Andy,
I’m managing somebody who very much wants to be promoted to a position of leadership. She is talented, dedicated to her job, and has a ton of knowledge about our area of the business. But I’m starting to realize that other coworkers perceive her as childish and immature, and I think part of it is the way she presents herself. She frequently comes to work in workout clothes — tight shorts, tank tops, etc. — and has a tendency to wear her hair in a top-knot. She either wears far too much makeup or none at all. Our workplace is really laid-back in terms of dress code, so she’s not breaking any rules, but I do think the way she presents herself makes people think of her as much younger and less experienced than she is, and therefore holds her back from that promotion she wants.
I know how judgmental and picky this question sounds. I worried that if my report was a male, his attire wouldn’t matter at all and nobody would notice. I think it’s 100% true that men and women are held to different standards of appearance in the workplace, but that doesn’t change the fact that her attire and appearance are inappropriate for the responsibilities she wants to be given.
Is there a way to kindly let this person know that coming to work in business casual attire would help people take her more seriously in her career? Do you think it’s true that the way we present ourselves can dictate a lot about others’ perceptions and therefore our ability to move up in an organization (especially when getting into leadership roles)? Or am I focusing on the wrong thing and being judgy and sexist?
Andy: If your questions were about how you should dress, I’d have all sorts of tactics to recommend. I could point you to studies that show when you don a white “lab coat” you make fewer mistakes than when you wear an identical “painter’s smock.” I would have you read the chapter in Tina Fey’s Bossypants that’s all about manicures and haircare. I’d tell you that, when I taught college freshmen, what I wore the first week of classes was the number one predictor of how students would treat me the rest of the semester. I would talk about power outfits and personal uniforms and my strategic use of cardigans to disguise sweat stains because yes: the way we present ourselves can dictate a lot about others’ perceptions.
But I don’t think we’re there yet. Your question is about how she’s dressing (which is within the dress code), as well as youth and experience and that ephemeral “readiness” factor.
Emma: I agree. Your direct report might not be ready for a promotion into leadership, but it’s not because of a tank top — just like your promotions have never been because of a button-down. Big opportunities like that come from a combination of all sorts of things: the quality of your work, the merit of your ideas, lucky breaks, who’s advocating for you. Optics play a role too — often a large one for women — but focusing so narrowly on appearances feels a little like telling someone they’d be able to pay off their student loan debt if they’d just stop buying so many lattes. Will it help? Sure. But it’s not the complete answer.
Andy: Right now, the arrow of influence is pointed in the wrong direction. You think your report has chops, other people don’t, and they’re changing your mind. As her manager, you need to aim your influence to help change that misperception. You’ve already said it: She’s talented, dedicated to her job, and has a ton of knowledge about your area of the business. Put that sentence on repeat!
Emma: Shout it loud and proud! You were able to figure out these things about her. Make them known to the people who haven’t yet. Show them the work. Highlight the results.
16 Ways to Champion Your People
Acting as a sponsor for your high performers is one of the most effective ways to spur their growth. Ask yourself: How many opportunities do other people in the company have to know the excellence of individuals on your team? If the answer is, “Not much!” try these strategies to start getting them the recognition and reputation they deserve.
· Put them in charge when you go on vacation
· Delegate high-visibility tasks
· Regularly share their results with your boss in your 1-on-1s
· Give them credit for their ideas and accomplishments in company-wide forums, in front of your peers, in the wiki — give so much credit their results become synonymous with their name
· Nominate them as liaison with other teams
· Have them pitch or present to senior leadership
· Invite them to interdepartmental meetings — and ask for their opinion when you’re there
· Assign them as the point-person on high-profile projects
· Rebut misperceptions about them in real time
· Rebut misperceptions about them after the fact
· Recommend them for new programs and initiatives
· Advocate for their participation in a conference, training, or seminar
· Compliment them and their work (even if they’re not there)
· Help them build rapport with senior staff and other managers: introduce them in the kitchen, include them in conversation at happy hour, etc.
· Give them an all-team award; campaign for them for larger awards
· Know their results by the numbers — and talk about them whenever you have a chance
Emma: This isn’t to say you can’t give your report feedback to help position her for greatness. We all need advice on how to harness and hone ourselves as we grow in our careers. I once had a super talented direct report who would examine her split ends when she zoned out during meetings: an unconscious habit that looked so ditzy it would make me cringe. I have a tendency to talk with my hands and wave my arms around like one of those inflatable tube guys at used car dealerships, which can be…distracting. We need to know these things about ourselves! But I’ve only ever found that kind of information helpful, and not hurtful, when it comes from someone who takes me seriously.
Andy: You and I have had lots of those talks. Inflatable tube arms definitely came up.
Emma: That’s how I know about them!
I think the best way to show your report you’re in her corner is within the larger discussion of her career aspirations and how you two are, starting now, launching a campaign to achieve those goals. If you really believe in this person, those discussions and strategy sessions will organically surface how other people perceive her.
Andy: If you don’t believe in your report — or don’t believe in her yet — I might hold back on sharing your concerns about what other people think of her, and prioritize feedback that will impact how you think of her.
Emma: Totally. Get clear on what your report needs to do in order for you to say: “This person is ready. I want her by my side.” Write all those things down. And then commit to being her ally in making them happen.
Good Boss Achievement Stickers: Champion Edition
