Emma: Back in November, we wrote about emailing when you’re angry. Our advice was “Don’t do it!”

Andy: This week we cover why: Bad News emails are really hard to respond to.

Emma: The best thing to do when you’re on the receiving end of a “What the hell happened here?!” or a “This is unacceptable!” email is to think of it as a great opportunity to show how cool you are under pressure, not as you getting in trouble.

This, I realize, is pretty worthless advice.

Andy: Agree and agree. I don’t know anyone who can do that in the moment — who doesn’t experience a deep and dreadful sinking stomach, or react defensively.

Emma: I do both! I get the panic shakes and then immediately Slack Andy: Can you believe this email I just got?!

Andy: Let the pit sweat flow! Slack a friend! And while you’re there, ask them if they’ll be online to read your response in a few minutes. That gives me such peace. I remember, even if I am kind of alone in this email, I am not actually alone in the world.

Emma: The three big questions I have whenever I get a Bad News email are:

  • Is this as serious as it sounds?
  • Do I need to respond immediately?
  • Should I apologize?

Andy: For that first question, the answer is often no. There are so many assertions in any Bad News email that need be questioned. I try to act like an investigator: Someone screwed up, is that true? It’s my fault, is that true? Heads need to roll, is that true?

Emma: I remember when I was a brand new manager, a director from another part of the business emailed me about a mistake someone on my team had made. It was late at night, she was pissed, and her email showed it.

I didn’t question if the error was as dire as she made it sound. I responded to her outrage at the same volume. This mistake WOULD NOT STAND! Retribution would be SWIFT! And I PROVED how seriously I was taking the whole thing by cc’ing the person who made the mistake on my response.

Andy: You cc’d!!

Emma: I cc’ed! It was such an overblown reaction, and it really damaged the trust I had with my teammate. Plus, it put her in such a bizarre position: Was she supposed to also respond to the original email calling out her mistake? If so, how? I’d already done a neat little job of cutting her down.

This happened seven or eight years ago and I still cringe every time I think about it.

Andy: The echoes of a bad boss move last for so long.

I’ve done that thing of replying with a half answer, digging deeper, realizing I’m wrong, replying again, learning more, then replying again. I confused everyone and I came across like a headless rooster someone handed a keyboard to.

So now I like to wait to reply until I know it’s a full and (semi-)final answer.

Emma: If it’s going to take a while to figure out, you can do a quick reply: Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I’m investigating it now and will report back.

Andy: Or, if you know you can staunch the bleeding, say that: Got it. I’ve [done this thing] as a temporary measure. I’ll report back when I know more.

If you know when you’ll know, say that. But don’t give yourself some crazy deadline that you can’t meet. That only makes the pressure to respond worse.

Remember, even though this email may have ruined your day, the person sending it trusts you to solve problems. They trust you to run your team and your program. It’s your turn to trust you, too.

Emma: And that brings us to apologizing. My instinct is to apologize for every screw up or misstep I make, but I’ve gotten to the point now where I reserve “I’m sorry” for when it’s personal. And typically, people’s feelings aren’t hurt when it’s a work mistake.

Andy: Right. No one needs you to be sorry. They need the mistake fixed, the wrong righted, and the problem to not happen again.

How to Respond to a Bad News Email

Here’s a little scorecard we made to help you (and the friend who’s proofreading) craft a Good Boss response to a Bad News email.

  • I took ownership of my part.
  • I was solutions-oriented.
  • I didn’t editorialize.
  • I didn’t apologize.
  • I wouldn’t cringe if this email was forwarded around.

Short + Breezy Replies

Keeping it super short and simple is often the best way to respond to one-off mistakes, frustrating slip-ups, and human error. It’s also good for buying time to research and write a fuller report you’ll send later. Here are some examples of how we’ve responded before:

I totally agree. It won’t happen again.

Thank you for flagging this. I’ve corrected the settings on the backend. I’ve also added an additional step to the QA checklist so I don’t miss it going forward.

I checked the revision history — the page was correct when my team signed off at 6pm, but Merchandising and Marketing made changes after. Maybe Ryan and Kelsey know more?

We definitely have a pipeline problem. I’m meeting with the entire recruiting team tomorrow to figure out a plan. I’ll let you know what we come up with.

Yes, can I swing by your desk at 3:30 to walk you through what happened?

I’ll have a full report at the 5:00 stand up.

Glad you caught this. I’ve fixed the error. I’ll investigate and report back.

Big + Scary Responses

Larger, more complex problems call for longer emails (or, preferably, in-person conversations). If it’s a lot of writing, bullets and bolding are essential. Make your reply concrete, clear, and skimmable. We like to use our incident report template as an outline. Here’s an example. (Remember, it’s okay to sweat.)

What happened: A server error caused a shopping cart outage from 7:01p to 7:04p PST last night.

Consequences: $35,000 plus upsells. 70,000 customers were on the site and were unable to complete transactions during this time. Their total cart value was $35,000.

Origin of the problem: The outage was due to one server overheating. Our site was quickly switched to another server. This three-minute outage is within our service-level agreement.

Recommended solutions:

Ask CS to email all impacted customers a 20% off Oops coupon in a cart refresher email to spur them to return to the site and complete checkout.

Stick with our current server plan and continue to monitor outages. Upgrading would cost $2.5M annually.

Next steps:

If you agree, I’ll email CS to get the cart refresher emails sent out and I’ll have my team continue to monitor our server outages.

I’ll alert you if outages exceed our SLA or become costly enough to increase our plan or change servers.

Good Boss Achievement Stickers: Pit Sweat Edition

The Bent Good Boss Achievement stickers Pit Sweat Edition